I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
