That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
worst night to have a conscience
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
