so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
