Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize