awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
