im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
