winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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