I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
