Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
