a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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