I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
