Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Sext me about skeletons
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