In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
