I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
