I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
