I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
