so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
