the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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