p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Randomize
