Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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