What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
