Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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