I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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