Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
