Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All I want is dick and wine.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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