i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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