I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
