The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
