your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
