well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize