Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
