North Korea, Best Korea!
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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