dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
