i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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