Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I miss vodka workout Fridays
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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