whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize