are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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