my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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