Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
