it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
