So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
