Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
