How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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