omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
