are you still at the devil's house?
the condom got lost in my hair
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
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