Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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