Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Randomize