Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
