let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Randomize
