He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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