Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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