girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i dont even know how to be here
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
