just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
