do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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