btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
