How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
