Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
The Olympian is in my bed
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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