I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
