I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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