she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
