tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
