he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
