He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
