I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
