apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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