is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
