you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
