so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
What a dumb baby whore.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
