Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
