In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
