He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
